Category: Beneath The Paint

You are not here just to take up space
Eating, consuming, satiating your appetite
Leaving a trail of excrement in your wake
You are not a bookmark on this earth
A flower pressed against the pages of life.
You are not a piece of art- a sculpture - a thing perching idly on a shelf or table
Whose only purpose is to be seen - admired - gazed at
Mutely sitting waiting for someone else to decide you need to be knocked off - trashed - kicked to the curb - destroyed.

The chance of being born as you was one in 12 billon, or
Twice the current population of the planet
You are not a cosmic random event, an accident of love or lust
To make you, one unique egg among hundreds and
One unique seed among dozens of millions
Joined together in a dance of violent passion
To form the being I see standing before me - You

He stretched out the heavens overhead and
Decorated with the planets, the stars, the moon, the sun, the Milky Way.
He created this earth and all that is in it
He created the ocean and the life they hold
He breathed His breath into this world
So that you could inflate your lung and live

He sent His son here to redeem that which He created - You - to Himself
So the pain you were meant to have in death - ostracized from the King -
Would not transpire if you would but welcome Him in your core
He was beaten into an unrecognizable, bloody, ripped, shredded torn mess - for you

He didn't do all that so you could sit in your place on Sundays
He didn't endure all the pain so you could have a stairway to heaven
He didn't drink the cup so that you could just occupy space

He was ripped - but not with muscles
He was heavy-duty -but not in his body
He was bad - but not in attitude
He endured all - but not for Himself
He overcame so you could overcome

He took on the public display of torture and humiliation
He took on the devil and his kingdom
He took on all that you deserve
To lay the foundation on which you must stand
To prepare the path which you must march
To give you the bread which you must part
To give you the seed that you must spread
To give you the water which you must pour

Your existence was orchestrated at this moment in this place
Not for you to consummate - your craving - your delusions - your timetable
But to accomplish His design using His strategy for His magnificence
Move, motivate, ambulate, hike, trek, saunter, stroll, ashay, strut, swagger
But don't remain fettered, fixed, moored, chained, fastened, shackled, handcuffed, bound, restrained, constrained to where you are
Dislocate, disturb, disentangle, oust eject, extricate, break free
You don't just occupy space - an effigy pointing to the path-
Your requisite is to illustrate - demonstrate - exhibit the way
To metamorph, reform, modify your earthly existence
To watch for and walk through every door
To bring the kingdom to the lost
To share all that you were given without cost- to you.

You are not here just to occupy space
You are in Christ - a soldier and a comforter
You are in Christ - a warrior and a child of the Most High
You are in Christ - the help to someone in darkness
You are in Christ - salt and light to the world
You are in Christ - a culture changer
You are in Christ - significant and essential
You have a place to fill, a job to do, assignments to complete

No - You do not just occupy space

Joy is fleeting like a dove
It swells its feathers within my heart
And captures my mind with its dance
My arms embrace the fullness until
My feet move me in its contagious wake
Leaving me elated to the center of my being
It seems when I am fully immersed in the delight
Joy flees leaving but a memory in its wake
Such is the joy of the things in the world

But the joy that comes from the Spirit
Does not land and leave a memory
That joy is the eternal memory-maker
It comes in a rush – in power
Beginning in the center of my being
Flooding my heart, my soul and my mind
That joy becomes a lifestyle
It doesn’t leave me – it’s always there to access
A joy that cannot be eclipsed by those outside
A joy that manifests love precluding someone
Else from changing the temperature in me
A joy that outshines what my eyes see
A joy beyond what my ears detect
A joy that surpasses what my heart feels
And a joy that transcends what my mind thinks
It stands – when I am not
It is strong when my knees are weak
It is enduring when my flesh faints
It is – always

Lord Jesus, help us to receive joy into our lives the way your disciples and followers in the early days did: not looking at our bounty or our lack, our circumstances, our fleshly limiters. Give us a clear picture of joy and let us reflect it to others that they would see the joy we have in You; let the reflection of Your joy soften their hearts to the gospel of Jesus Christ. In Jesus’ name, amen.

On November 2, 2012 at 2:39 pm, a tiny infant was born.  He had been in the womb only 25 weeks and he weighed a mere 1.75 pounds.  The doctor, rooted in his medical knowledge, offered no hope for this little babe.  His parents placed their trust in the medical staff and decided NOT to try and save this little life.  For 4 hours, they held their son as he gasped and struggled for every breath.  He was offered no food, no milk, no help, no hope. The families of the parents were divided in two factions – those who also placed their trust in the medical community, and those who placed their trust in The Lord Jesus Christ.

Phone calls and text messages went out to prayer warriors to intercede for this baby and for his parents.  Prayers for someone to intervene were offered as incense to heaven.  It must have been a pleasant aroma to God for a nurse began to notice how strong this little guy was and kept coming into the room where his parents cuddled and stroked this little gift from God.  This nurse, without consulting the parents, called the NICU to ask them to come look at this child.  This nurse was in fear of reprisals from the parents, but acted anyway.  The medical staff had never seen a preemie live so long without any assistance – maybe they were wrong about his age, they thought.  They had estimated he would only live about 1.5 hours after birth with no assistance.

The parents are good people – not heartless people – but they had no hope in their lives beyond what the world had to offer.  Still resolute in their decision not to give their baby much needed medical support – continuing to believe in only the doctors and not in God – willingly handed over their son to the NICU for a few tests.  A doctor came in the room after the tests were run and told them what a fighter their son was and how strong he was for one so little. The parents, their hearts softened by heaven, now wavered in their decision that once seemed so right.  They asked the doctor what he would do if he were his son. The doctor, filled with compassion for this little life, told them he would give his son every chance and do all he could to help him live.  This precious baby was moved to the NICU – praise be to God who heard the cries of his saints on behalf of this helpless child!  This past November, Gabriel turned two, happy and healthy, he continues to defy every medical prediction!

In our family, the adults always give new names to the children that have nothing to do with their birth name.  This baby forever will be called by me and my husband, Gabriel – which means God is My Strength.

Without Jesus, we have nothing to hope for, nothing to believe in, except ourselves and those we give control to.  Without an intimate knowledge of the Creator, we only have our tiny minds to believe with.  Without faith in something bigger than what we can see, we are doomed to what we can accomplish with our own efforts.

To believe that this life is nothing more than what we see and then we die is similar to erecting fences around our life made up of what we can accomplish and what lives we can impact.  And once inside that fence, it is not far reaching to ask, why bother to impact anyone else – for we live and then we die – and so do others.  Without  a hope in Jesus, humanity is doomed to become a self-centered moral-less group – not helping others or offering anything more than what is seen.  Trust would only extend to that which and who we deem worthy to trust ourselves, mere men, makers of mistakes and depraved creatures, given over to the lusts of our hearts and thoughts of our minds.  This would be our only hope.

During periods of drought, the ground – the soil – splits as it is drying.  As it dries and shrinks, the ground vomits up debris – those things that should not be there for the ground to be rich, fertile and workable.  Every year in drought yields more debris – bigger than the year before:  Things like rocks, stones, and metal – even things like golf balls.  When the rain finally comes, the ground begins to soak up the much needed moisture.  Deep down, a good soaking rain will cause the ground to swell with the nectar of heaven’s dew.  It will eventually close up all the cracks and crevasses, and fill in all the holes created by the foreign debris coughed up during the drought.  We think of drought as unproductive, but droughts really are a time to prepare the soil for the sowing – the planting – removing what doesn’t belong and thereby enriching what does.

We are like that.  When we have a “drought” from hearing from the Lord, when His silence is deafening, those are the times that the rocks and debris in our life surface to be dealt with.  We can leave them where they arise and allow the future rains to take them below the surface, hidden from view.  Or we can deal with them by banishing them from our life – never to return.  And when the rain of God finally comes, it falls on soil that is ready for new seed – new life – and new fruit.

• The last time you were in a dry place with the Lord, what debris surfaced?
• How did you deal with it?
• If you did not banish it from your life when it surfaced, what could you do now to get rid of it?
• Going forward, how could you effectively handle debris removal?

Lord, give me the courage and strength to deal with the debris in my life as it surfaces during periods of dryness.  Direct my thoughts and paths so that those things that don’t belong are taken far from me.  Help me to prepare the soil in my heart and mind to cultivate and nurture seed that will yield a bountiful harvest of fruit – not only in my own life, but in the lives of those around me.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

A cow died a very long time ago in our cattle pens – all that remained were bones.  I thought it was cruel the other cows would be penned up in the small space with the skeleton of one of their own even for only a short period.  So I painstakingly picked up every bone and disposed of it.  I combed through the grass and dirt looking for the odd fragment.  I was sure I had picked up every piece of the deceased cow.  But a year into the drought, the ground pushed up more bones – not just a few, but a lot:  a jaw bone – just one side, an ankle bone, several vertebra, and numerous unrecognizable bones.

In Ezekiel 37:1-14, there is a valley filled with bones; they were very dry and very old.  How did they get there – did the ground yield up these bones? God told Ezekiel to prophesy to the bones; flesh grew on the bones, but there was no life in them.  He told Ezekiel to prophesy to the breath; and they came to life standing to their feet.  God told Ezekiel that bones represented the whole house of Israel saying, “Our bones are dry, our hope is lost, and we ourselves are cutoff.” NKJV Ezekiel 37:11  The Lord said He would cause their graves to be opened, He would bring them up from their graves, put His spirit in them, and they shall live.

• In drought, in times when your bones are dry, do you give up or allow God to bring you up out of your dryness – your grave – by seeking Him?
• What is the making of your grave?  A circumstance, a situation, a place, a person, a choice or choices you made?
• Will you yield up that which doesn’t belong in God’s ground or will you run in despair away from Him who is able to bring you out?
• What do you need to yield up?
• How could you get out of the dry times sooner?

God gave the dry bones life – just as He gives us life.  He gave them His breath, just as He has given us His Holy Spirit. We are no longer dead in our short-comings: we are alive in Him.  During times when things seem dry, my flesh wants to wallow in the grave, but I know that the surest quickest way out of the grave is to seek His face and yield to Him; giving up those things that do not belong in me.

Lord, help us to quickly identify those things in us that do not belong in the same life as you.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

When my sister and I were little we would “tell” on each other – running to our mom with the latest “bad” thing the other had done.  My mom would respond many times with, “Well, look at the pot who’s calling the kettle black.”  I really didn’t understand it but I knew that it meant she wasn’t going to listen to any more tattle-telling.  As I grew older, I understood what she was getting at with the whole kettle and pot comparison.  She was pointing out that each of us had faults and was just as guilty as the other.

Read Matthew 7:1-5

Most people, when asked, would describe themselves as a “pretty good person.”  We tend to consciously measure the good in ourselves and not the bad.  The verses in Matthew remind us to measure the bad in our own heart not when we are happy, when things are going our way, when we are enjoying life and those in our life; but to measure the bad in our heart when things are not good, when we are in the midst of a trial, when we find ourselves disagreeing with something a friend or family member said or did – when we are angry.  This is when the “bad” in us raises its ugly head.  This is when the plank or log in our own eye successfully obscures our vision so that we see others’ shortcomings as worse than our own shortcomings.  This is when comparison to others enters our heart and we measure our “bad” against theirs – “At least I’m not as bad as ______.”

• Would you describe yourself as a pretty good person when things are going well?
• How would you describe yourself when you are angry?
• Making a plan before tension arises is easier than beating yourself up for “over the top” responses.  Make a plan now of things you can do to keep your anger in check.
• What can you do to make sure to examine your own heart before you point out others’ shortcomings?

Lord, help me to become a more accurate reflection of Jesus.  Keep me from measuring the “bad” in me against my perception of the “bad” in others – help me to focus on those areas that need pruning in my own heart without comparing myself to others.  When I see others’ shortcomings, remind me that I am but a pot calling the kettle black.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

What you see is not my reality
Your perception is a deception
You only see with your eyes
Gaze deeper to see the depth below me
The surface is a plain upon which
I craft your vision to stop and look no further
The curl of my hair
The red on my lips
The hue of my lids
The smile in the corner

This superficial appearance is but a cloak
Concealing what lies below
A transient house that I decorate
To fool your senses into believing
What you see somehow fits
The reality of what I am hiding beneath.

When my outward façade
Stops you in your tracks and
You never go deeper into
The real reality of me
Then I am doomed to hide myself
In this masquerade I have created.

So this shattered woman’s heart
This fragmented soul is never perceived
The strengths I have hidden
Below where you stop
Never rise up in the victory
I was meant to partake.

Underneath the disguise is
A little girl who still seeks
The Father’s heart
Who still hungers for
The encouraging Word
Who still desires
The Truth
Who still yearns for
The Son
Who is just like you when undone.

Everything I looked at through my eye was crooked.  Telephone poles went straight and then bent over sideways.  I asked the Lord over and over again to heal my eye.  It didn’t happen: I had to go through one surgery that would result in me needing another surgery.  I prayed for God to heal that eye so I would not need a third surgery.  The Lord did not answer that prayer: I only know that He heard me.  I found myself straining to find Him – to see Him – to hear Him –  in every aspect of my life.  I felt abandoned.  I couldn’t heal myself.  I couldn’t hear Him in terms of my own life.  I was alone.  “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” was the cry of my heart.

Read Psalms 22:1-31

This Psalm opens with the last forlorn words that Jesus cried to God as he painfully struggled for breath upon the cross.  It then goes on to reiterate all that He had suffered leading up to that moment.  I am amazed that Jesus felt the same way I did as I struggled to hear God – to see Him – to know that I was not alone.  Jesus didn’t give up talking to God – even when He felt abandoned – even when it appeared that there was no hope – even when he had been brought to His knees.  I knew I could not either.

Ask yourself these questions:

• When I don’t hear from God do I feel alone?
• When I don’t see God move in my life or the life of someone I am praying for do I feel abandoned?
• Do I express my frustration to God or give up talking to Him?
• What can I do next time I feel God has left me alone to keep pursuing Him?

This Psalm ends with an instruction manual for pursuing God in the midst of trials – when all seems lost – when abandonment abounds.  Our instructions are:

• Declare Him to others
• Praise Him in church and when alone
• Glorify and revere Him
• Keep your promises to Him
• Seek Him to praise Him
• Worship before Him
• Let His Word be your sustenance
• Tell the younger generation what He has done

Lord, when all seems lost to me – when I feel totally alone, please lead me to pursue You even more.  When I think You have abandoned me, forgive me, and remind me that Jesus didn’t give up when it was within His power to do so – I won’t give up either.  And when I don’t see You move in my life or the life of another, send someone across my path to strengthen my resolve.  I thank You Lord that You are for my success and not against me.  I thank You for wanting the best for me – delivered in the way I will understand and in the way that will be a testimony for myself and others.  Help me to stand.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

This year, I will be more than 20,600 days old! Time is speeding by faster and faster the older I get. I look back on my life and search for periods of thankfulness – periods I can measure. But, like the majority of people, remembering those times of gratitude are like rifling through a junk drawer. I’m sure I am grateful, but as appreciation leaves my mouth, it seems to leave my cluttered mind, so I am unable to quantify it. How I admire (while being secretly annoyed) friends who seem to live each moment full of thankfulness. As praises flow from their lips to my ears, I ask myself – Why can’t I be that thankful all the time regardless of my circumstances? What makes it easy for my friend and so difficult for me? Am I not truly thankful?

The 21st psalm was written in third person by David when he was king. Imagine the choir singing this song in David’s presence. How thrilled he must have been as the powerful words of what the Lord had done for him caused him to reflect on his blessings and immersed his soul with gratefulness. It would have been almost impossible to forget to be thankful with the choir reminding him!

Read Psalms 21:1-13

Most of us don’t have a choir to sing songs about what we personally should be thankful for – we are responsible for remembering the things the Lord has done for us and for being filled with gratitude. Yet, sometimes, I have so much to keep track of that I often blurt out “Thank you Jesus” and then move on to the next pressing matter. Perhaps you are a little like me. Consider the following as ways to “remember” what the Lord has done in your life:

• Start a gratitude journal – either on paper or electronically. But just don’t write it in, read it – often.
• Review your day when you first get into bed. Look for blessings to be thankful for.
• Share your testimonies of what the Lord has done for you with individuals and groups.
• Share with a comment on this site any other ways you can maintain a heart of gratitude.

Lord, help us to remember all of the testimonies and all of the blessings You show us. Bring people into our path who need to hear our gratitude. Bind thankfulness to our hearts that we would live each day not forgetting to express it to You, our families, our friends and all those we come in contact with. We give You all the glory. In Jesus’ name, amen!

I was sick, awfully sick, standing in the emergency room – but just barely. I was around 18 years old – alone –my parents were not there to help me. The intake clerk asked me what religion? “What?” I thought, but no words came out. She asked me again. I didn’t know what religion. I was raised in a religion – went through all the motions, but didn’t understand – my eyes were still veiled. “How do I know what religion I am?” I asked. She looked at me – no pity – no leading – no answers – and simply said it is where you go to church. Weak from the illness, I told her I had not been to church since the last compulsory time, around age 13. She then told me it was usually whatever your parents were. Thoughts swam in my head. I had not seen my dad in church except once in a great while – maybe three times since I could remember. No help there. My mom talked of God. And when she could get away without too much fussing from my dad, we boarded a bus to a church. I would pick that religion I decided.

It would be sometime much later in my life that I would choose my religion. I was stubborn – I heard the truth, but didn’t see the people around me living it. Even then – I saw everything in black and white. Looking back, I regret not having a better understanding – not seeking – not knowing. So when someone gives their life to the Lord, I am compelled to tell them the whole truth. Making a decision to serve the Lord is not easy – you may have to leave those behind that are dead to the light if they won’t go with you or won’t let you go. Things don’t get easier – just more tolerable. And bad stuff still happens to good people. It’s about “developing” a friendship with someone you can’t see with your eyes or usually hear with your ears. A friendship where you are pursuing God, and then changing to be a reflection of the Lord. You will realize that everyone is on a different track to become more like Him, so you will not judge someone else’s shortcomings. Everyday, you forgive those who wrong you, and forgive yourself. “I’m sorry” becomes a broken record broadcast from your lips but with compassion and genuine sorrow. You will leave things you used to love to do and fill that time with things God wants you to do – as He leads. It’s a place of acceptance – of joy – of purpose. You are adopted into a new family that is enormous. People will encourage you, love you, exhort and correct you – praying for you to reach your full potential. New friends – new family – a joining – a belonging. And not just any family – a royal one with promises made by God Himself. And even when all around appears dethroned – you will know that He is still on the throne.