We mark time by events – births, graduations, weddings, death. We see it as a “time line”. Somewhere in that time line, there is the point marked by our decision to accept Christ as our Lord and Savior. Our baptism is also on that line. We are linear thinkers in terms of time. As we walk or march or dance through time, we will inevitably make mistakes, bad choices or bad decisions. We will act without thinking and react with emotions in the “heat of the moment.”
When I make a mistake, a bad choice, or do or fail to do something, I see myself as having to hit pause. In other words, I am going along “good” in my walk as a Christian when I suddenly find myself involved in an emotional outburst, a thoughtless act, an intentional act, a less than optimum choice. But there I am, even when I realize I should not have gone there to begin with. I find myself feeling like I now have to stop my walk – re-earning my good behavior time all over to be worthy of accomplishing something in the Kingdom. I allow my linear thought process to take over and mentally crumple up the list of “good” I have accomplished, the progress I have made in my relationship with Christ, and just stand still. I no longer see myself as worthy of moving beyond where I was when the “sin” occurred.
God exists in a dimension where time as I know it does not exist. What Jesus did on the cross, He did after He knew me – God says He knew me before the foundations of the earth were laid – were fastened. His death was for the things that I did before I knew I did them.
David was loved by the Lord not because he was perfect, but because he acknowledged his shortcomings and walked right from where he was when he acted shortsightedly. When I hit pause on God’s purposes for my life, the Kingdom of heaven on earth suffers. I rob myself when I buy into the linear time thought process.
If I extend this out, it really results in my believing more in what sin can do than in what God can do. I know the devastation sin can bring, yet I seem to forget to trust in what God did to conquer my sin. Selfishly, I put my faith in the devastation of sin instead of the restoration He accomplished.
I try now to think of time as a place where God is – always. He knew the things I would do after I was saved, and my name is still written on His hand.
Lord, help me to remember I don’t need to use the pause button, that I can repent and move forward right from where I am.