Recently, at a park, my oldest grandchild had a Razor RipStik, which is extremely difficult to ride even for adults. It is similar to a skateboard, but instead of four wheels, it has two wheels – one in the front and one in the back. He had made great progress at controlling it and was able to ride for long periods of time. His younger sister wanted to try. She kept telling us she couldn’t do it. All of us began encouraging her, “You got this.” “You can do it.” “You can do anything you put your mind to.” And shortly, with a bit of help, she was riding!
Why is it that encouraging children comes so easy, but encouraging adults is a bit harder? I am not talking about people you sporadically come into contact with at work or church, but those you know best – your spouse, your parents, and maybe even your boss. Is it that our familiarity causes an expectation? Perhaps it’s as simple as we don’t think about it because our relationship has grown comfortable.
When first married, we had pretty defined roles – he worked outside and I did the work inside. As our incomes grew and demands for our time increased, we hired help for mowing and weeding. Pretty soon, as I saw it, I was doing all the work – laundry, dishes, cleaning. Complaining got me nowhere. We hired a housecleaner to come every couple weeks. But the day-to-day living chores continued to fall to me.
I employed this truth – everyone loves to be encouraged and thanked. I began to profusely thank him for every time he emptied the dishwasher or did a load of laundry. I lavished encouragement over him with my thankfulness – “Thank you so much for helping me by unloading the dishwasher. You are the best husband ever.” I noticed that he began to help more.
I applied this to my job. I sent notes of encouragement to my boss and his boss. Every time I got a raise – no matter how tiny – I sent a thank you card to the head of our department. Pretty soon, upper management knew my name. When my husband was transferred to another state, upper management would agree to create a new position for me – not just once, but several times.
I do not encourage others in order to manipulate, but from a sincere heart. I am thankful for my husband’s help and I am thankful I received raises when I worked. The outcome of my thanks and encouragement was the fruit of building others up.
Select someone close to you (if married, choose your spouse). Ask the Holy Spirit to enable you to encourage them every day. Find something good to say every day to them. It only needs to be a short sentence. Don’t expect any encouragement in return. Be patient. This will bear fruit.
“And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works” (Hebrews 10:24)
Go encourage someone.