Deliberately and with great care he ambles toward her. He takes a seat next to her as he gently grasps her soft hand in his. I never noticed before how transparent his skin had become – how it hugs every tendon, bone and vessel. His thoughts come more slowly these days so not a word passes between them. He just sits there, content to hold her hand. I can feel his life, his love flowing through his hand to hers. I see the decades of regrets, and eons of lost time, never more to come again for him. Oh, what he knows in the twilight of his life! If only he had the strength to tell me those secrets revealed at his end.
She calls his name and gently he answers her, reassures her – his hand still holding hers. He is too tired to try to meet her eyes – he just holds her hand in his. If only he knew before…what was really important, what mattered most at the end, not what mattered in the time long lost. He rises, grasping the hook of his cane, and with great effort, he pulls himself to his feet. He gingerly makes his way in front of her. Bending down and forward, he takes her face in those frail hands and gazes into her eyes. He lovingly moves his lips to her forehead, as his eyes slowly close. It’s as if I can see his thoughts as they rush through his mind – What would have been had he have known long ago what these last moments have told him? He tells her, “I love you.” He knows he can never say it enough to cover all the time gone by, where something else was always more important, where demands and cares of this life pushed their way to the front, where she was just a fixture, always there. He knows now. His pain, his regrets, his sorrow is great for those things he knows now should have been back then. Still holding her face with his hands, his lips pressed against her forehead, he holds back his tears as he wonders if she knows what he knows now.
God spoke to me through this window of watching my father, stricken with cancer, interact with my mother, a victim of Alzheimer’s, about what really is important in life – our relationships, not just with our family and each other, but with Him. Too often, we push Him aside for those things that draw our attention…those things that speak louder, those things that seem critically urgent, those desires of our heart that don’t quite line up with His desires. Yet, He waits for us, because He knows that one day we will know what my dad now knows. He yearns for us to know this before it is too late, to restructure our lives to live life to the fullest, not in what we do, but in how we do it.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, and self-control.” Galatians 5:22 When everything has gone by for you, time, health, loved ones…and you are standing at the eve of your demise, will you have pain, regrets, and sorrow for those things that should have been? If your husband/wife sits by your side just before you stand before the Lord, will you mourn those things that can no longer be because time is gone for you?
Close your eyes and imagine yourself at the end of your life. You are old, but you are certainly not ready for this life to be over. Your children are grown and have families of their own. Your contemporaries are slowly succumbing to the inevitable end. Who are you? What were you? What was important before? What is important now? Do you need to make some changes?
He waits for you to know now – before it is too late to reflect His glory in every relationship you have, including the one you have with Him. Take His hand in yours and know what could be, because for you it is not too late, yet.